The Purpose-Given Wife

This was one of those mornings I just didn't want to get out of bed. I couldn't think of anything to look forward to. In the shower, my brain was muddled with dismal and trivial thoughts, leftover debris from a frustrating dream in which I was trying to change a light bulb but the bulb would not thread into its socket. I knew that if I pressed too hard, that bulb would shatter and cut me and make a mess. I woke up with that lingering sense of exasperation. I guess I was just in a general funk.

I've been trying lately to train myself to make my first words of the day, "Good morning, Lord." (As opposed to, "Good lord, it's morning.") So in an effort to snap out of my funk, I said it. The shower seemed to brighten just a little.

I often have short one-way conversations with God during the day, and seldom make any pretense of having literally heard back from Him. Errant theologies frequently come from putting words in God's mouth, and I'm cautious about attributing any of my impressions to direct inspiration, but this morning I actually thought I heard words. Not with my ears, but there were clearly words in my head immediately after I told God the following:

"I wish it didn't take an act of conscious discipline to get me to think of You in the morning. I just don't see you when I wake up. I didn't see anybody. (Ruth got up before me.) But when I see Ruth, she's somebody I can talk to, and she's so beautiful even in the morning, I can't help but be cheered up."

Stop rolling your eyes. I really mean this. Anyway, the response I "heard" in my head was clearly:

"Why don't you think of Me when you see her?"

After a moment, I responded, "You make a good point."

Aren't beauty and companionship part of the essence of God? I know marriage serves many purposes, many of them distinctly human, but why don't I treat my admiration and gratitude for my wife as a means to connect with God? Ruth and I have a great friendship and understanding that I know not all couples have. Our relationship isn't perfect, and we do say things that confuse or upset each other sometimes. But then, I know that even the most Holy people don't always like what God has to tell them. Ruth is the closest human channel I have to God, and as such I revere her for the role He gave her in my life. She is like a stained-glass window, through which the light shines, revealing the beautiful image in the glass, and the light is colored by the glass. The window doesn't make the light, of course, but the light reaches me through it.

So that's where God told me to find him in the morning.