The Path From 9/11

Scrappleface posted some great satire this week leading up to the fifth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I wish the Blair speech below was real.

My thoughts on September 11, 2006: May God comfort the families still grieving, strengthen our soldiers still fighting, and lead our agents still searching for the evil man who tried to destroy us. I still pray that man would be captured today.

I thank God, the author of my life and liberty, for the privilege of living here, and ask Him to protect our country from the enemies who would take those things from us. May God bless America.

ABC Drama Marks 50th Anniversary of 9/11
by Scott Ott

(2051-09-11) — As part of the nation's month-long celebration of the 50th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, ABC television tonight will show an educational drama called 'The Path from 9/11 '.

The docudrama recounts the initial resistance to global jihad mounted by the infidels of the former United States of America in the immediate aftermath of the great martyrdom operation.

But then the tide turns in favor of the budding Islamic caliphate (Allah be praised!). As memories of the 2001 attacks fade, world opinion turns against the Great Satan. Then the Great Satan turns on itself, consumed from within by a toxic combination of political ambition and cowardice masquerading as tolerance.

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LEAK: Draft of Tony Blair Resignation Speech
by Scott Ott

(2006-09-07) — Prime Minister Tony Blair's spokesman today attempted to distance him from excerpts of a draft resignation speech, reportedly written by the beleaguered British leader, that's making the rounds on the Internet.

According to the unverified manuscript, Mr. Blair plans to say, "Sadly, I must acknowledge that many of my own countrymen and even members of my own party have become Bin Laden's poodles."

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Senate Intelligence Report Finds No Connection
by Scott Ott

(2006-09-09) — Just a day after the Senate Intelligence committee released a report [ PDF] finding no pre-war connection between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda, aides said unpublished findings of the committee's probe also indicate no verifiable link between the senate and intelligence.

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Dems to ABC: We'll Yank License, Talking Points
by Scott Ott

(2006-09-08) — Top Senate Democrats, outraged over inaccuracies in the upcoming ABC mini-series The Path to 9/11, today said that in addition to yanking the network's broadcast license , if the show airs Democrats might also withhold from ABC News the daily distribution of Democrat talking points.

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Meanwhile, Scholastic Inc. recalled a Path to 9/11 study guide which it had offered to 25,000 high school teachers nationwide, and replaced it with "a more balanced, traditional teaching tool" prepared by MoveOn.org with help from Oscar-winning filmmaker Michael Moore.

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