Mr. Tinkles' Triumph

I am one of the ten people on the planet who remember the 2001 movie Cats and Dogs. If you're one of the other nine, skip the next paragraph.



The movie is about cats trying to take over the world and dogs trying to stop them. Jeff Goldblum plays a scientist researching a cure for dog allergies who becomes the prime target of the cats because his discovery would give a tactical advantage to the dogs. The cats and dogs wage a war of espionage and secret weapons in homes around the world, unbeknownst to their human owners. The megalomaniacal leader of the cats is a white Persian known as Mr. Tinkles.

In a story on Reuters today, a San Diego company announced the development of the first hypoallergenic cat.



This is big news on the war front, as these new minions of Mr. Tinkles will make their way into homes from which they were once barred. Allergies will no longer hamper the completion of their spy net. Soon their agents will penetrate the last remaining strongholds of freedom! Beware! Beware!

For those who don't buy the "secret war" theory, and who like cats, there's good news and bad news. The good news, of course, is that if you are allergic to cats, you can own one again. If any of your friends are allergic to cats, you can invite them over again. The bad news is you won't find any "free kitten" giveaways: These ones are $4000 each, and you'll want a purebred.

Back to the movie: If you didn't see it, I frankly don't recommend it. It's a funny premise that makes a great 2-minute trailer but a painfully lame 2-hour movie. All the best scenes are in the teaser trailer, so watch it here to satisfy your curiosity. If you're still curious, watch the full trailer here, and if you're a glutton for punishment, check out the official site here.

Warning: A sequel is reportedly in production.



Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Missing the Irony

I would comment on the Muslim outrage over Pope Benedict XVI's recent comments about Islam, but I really couldn't say it better than Chuck Colson did yesterday: Proving His Point

Colson says:

Muslims are outraged over Pope Benedict’s recent speech, in which he denounced violence as a means of bringing about religious conversion. How did they demonstrate their anger? Ironically, with violent protest—even murder.

It's remarkably reminiscent of the Danish cartoon flap, about which Ann Coulter stated:

In order to express their displeasure with the idea that Muslims are violent, thousands of Muslims around the world engaged in rioting, arson, mob savagery, flag-burning, murder and mayhem, among other peaceful acts of nonviolence.

A satirist couldn't make this up. Every time someone suggests Muslims are prone to violence, they riot to show how wrong that person is.

If you haven't read the Pope's actual address, which has been grossly misinterpreted as usual, please read it here. The media outlets, as usual, carefully selected the quotes that would provoke the strongest reaction, then published them out of context. It's a safe strategy in a country with freedom of expression, but deadly in countries prone to religious violence. To an angry, overreacting, and generally non-reading mob, the simple message was lost: We want to discuss our religious differences without you getting mad. The Pope's address was an appeal to reason together, to talk honestly about our religions' teachings and acknowledge our respective failures to live up to them. You want to bring up Hitler? Fine. We won't kill you for doing so. You question my religion, I'll question yours, we'll search for the truth together.

Since the press missed them, here are a few key points:

The decisive statement in [Byzantine Emperor Manuel II's] argument against violent conversion is this: not to act in accordance with reason is contrary to God's nature.

The scientific ethos, ... is the will to be obedient to the truth, and, as such, it embodies an attitude which reflects one of the basic tenets of Christianity. ... We will succeed in [overcoming the rift between science and reason] only if reason and faith come together in a new way, if we overcome the self-imposed limitation of reason to the empirically verifiable.

Only thus do we become capable of that genuine dialogue of cultures and religions so urgently needed today. In the Western world it is widely held that only positivistic reason and the forms of philosophy based on it are universally valid. Yet the world’s profoundly religious cultures see this exclusion of the divine from the universality of reason as an attack on their most profound convictions. A reason which is deaf to the divine and which relegates religion into the realm of subcultures is incapable of entering into the dialogue of cultures.

'Not to act reasonably (with logos) is contrary to the nature of God,' said Manuel II, according to his Christian understanding of God, in response to his Persian interlocutor. It is to this great logos, to this breadth of reason, that we invite our partners in the dialogue of cultures. To rediscover it constantly is the great task of the university.

Them ain't fightin' words.

You can understand why the Pope was upset that his words were misused to inflame the very conflict he wants to help resolve. Warmongering mullahs and their accomplices in the media deserve the blame for the bloodshed and are the ones who should be apologizing.

You Thought Your Dreams Were Weird?

It's strange how often my dreams are comedy sketches.

You know those TV drug commercials for Allegra, Celebrex, and so on? Last night, I dreamt I was watching TV and a commercial came on for a new prescription nasal spray to relieve the burning sensation you get in your nose when you burp after drinking carbonated beverages.

The commercial showed a woman sitting at her computer at home with a can of Coke on her desk. She discreetly tucked in her chin for a moment, then winced and grabbed her nose. She took a few whiffs of her nasal spray, smiled, and resumed her work. The commercial continued, showing people confidently drinking pop while a splashy logo floated by and an announcer read disclaimers.

When I described this dream to my wife, she laughed hysterically in spite of her gender's natural aversion to humor relating to bodily noises. She asked me, "Did you laugh in the dream, or wake up laughing?" I said no, I took it completely seriously in the dream, and as I recall, I gave it the kind of thoughtful "Huh," you give when acknowledging a good idea.

Now when I think about it, this could have been a great commercial on Saturday Night Live. The medicine could be named "Gastril" or "Neutranase." Or maybe it was more than that. It could be a million-dollar inspiration, a subconscious spark of genius. Maybe I should submit the idea to Pfizer.

Maybe I'll have a Coke and think it over.

We Were All Kids Once

It's an understatement to say our son loves toys. He doesn't merely play with toys, he relates to them.

This is not to say he doesn't relate to real people. To the contrary, he does so very well. In fact, we're proud of how comfortable he is talking to adults as well as kids. Many children are intimidated by adults or just don't know what to say to them, but Jack has found a great ice-breaker. When we visit friends or have adult guests, Jack will open a conversation by asking, "So, what were your favorite toys when you were a little boy (or girl)?" It's wonderful to see how people open up and how he pays attention. Toys are his point of contact. He knows toys, and he knows that every adult was a kid once.

What's more, Jack learns things about our friends and relatives that we never knew. It's funny how everyone remembers favorite toys and is happy to talk about them, and he loves to hear about them.

When he sees old toys, he wonders about the adults who played with them years ago. It's no wonder that some of his favorite stories are Toy Story 2, Raggedy Ann and Andy, Old Bear Tales, and other stories about cherished old toys.

He's figured out that somewhere inside every adult is a person who was once his age, and he can talk to that person. Toys are his window to the world, a way he connects with people and makes them feel young. Then he makes up stories about old toys talking to new toys. The old toys (like people) are more fragile, but they have value because they were once loved by a kid. He's learned a great lesson about life, with little encouragement from us.

No, not every day is like this. He's drawn to every single flashy, cool toy at Wal-Mart, but when we don't buy them, he's just as happy to go to Grandma's and play with the toys his mama and uncles used to play with. It's good for him, and it's good for us to see and remember.

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." - Matthew 19:14

The Mullah in the Cathedral

Chuck Colson wrote this excellent commentary about America's "dialogue" with Iran. Colson is no right-wing ranter. He is, IMO, one of the most compassionate and sensible commentators on world events today. For him to call something "blasphemy" is not inflammatory. America entertaining a terrorist sponsor in the name of "tolerance" is like inviting a cobra into the nursery.

Our dangerous error is this: We don't know why we believe what we believe, or we don't know what we believe, or as with many Americans, we consider all beliefs equal and therefore irrelevant. Our enemies do not see their religion or their government this way.

Colson is right about why the National Cathedral invited the Iranian spokesman: "... because they don't take the truth claims of their own religion seriously, [they] assume the same of the Iranian leadership."

Never Forget

The Path From 9/11

Scrappleface posted some great satire this week leading up to the fifth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I wish the Blair speech below was real.

My thoughts on September 11, 2006: May God comfort the families still grieving, strengthen our soldiers still fighting, and lead our agents still searching for the evil man who tried to destroy us. I still pray that man would be captured today.

I thank God, the author of my life and liberty, for the privilege of living here, and ask Him to protect our country from the enemies who would take those things from us. May God bless America.

ABC Drama Marks 50th Anniversary of 9/11
by Scott Ott

(2051-09-11) — As part of the nation's month-long celebration of the 50th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, ABC television tonight will show an educational drama called 'The Path from 9/11 '.

The docudrama recounts the initial resistance to global jihad mounted by the infidels of the former United States of America in the immediate aftermath of the great martyrdom operation.

But then the tide turns in favor of the budding Islamic caliphate (Allah be praised!). As memories of the 2001 attacks fade, world opinion turns against the Great Satan. Then the Great Satan turns on itself, consumed from within by a toxic combination of political ambition and cowardice masquerading as tolerance.

(More ...)

LEAK: Draft of Tony Blair Resignation Speech
by Scott Ott

(2006-09-07) — Prime Minister Tony Blair's spokesman today attempted to distance him from excerpts of a draft resignation speech, reportedly written by the beleaguered British leader, that's making the rounds on the Internet.

According to the unverified manuscript, Mr. Blair plans to say, "Sadly, I must acknowledge that many of my own countrymen and even members of my own party have become Bin Laden's poodles."

(More ...)

Senate Intelligence Report Finds No Connection
by Scott Ott

(2006-09-09) — Just a day after the Senate Intelligence committee released a report [ PDF] finding no pre-war connection between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda, aides said unpublished findings of the committee's probe also indicate no verifiable link between the senate and intelligence.

(More ...)

Dems to ABC: We'll Yank License, Talking Points
by Scott Ott

(2006-09-08) — Top Senate Democrats, outraged over inaccuracies in the upcoming ABC mini-series The Path to 9/11, today said that in addition to yanking the network's broadcast license , if the show airs Democrats might also withhold from ABC News the daily distribution of Democrat talking points.

...

Meanwhile, Scholastic Inc. recalled a Path to 9/11 study guide which it had offered to 25,000 high school teachers nationwide, and replaced it with "a more balanced, traditional teaching tool" prepared by MoveOn.org with help from Oscar-winning filmmaker Michael Moore.

(More ...)

Mixed Blessing

The company I work for recently moved to a new building. It's ten minutes closer, and my former five-minute walk from the parking lot to my desk is now about five seconds. The downside is that I no longer have time to eat breakfast and shave in the car.

In addition, my audio book listening time has been cut in half. I finally updated my book listening list, but I'll be even slower to add to it now.

But I'm not complaining. Our old location had antique phones and no windows, so I'm enjoying the daylight, modern technology, and that new-office smell.

Where is President Reagan When You Need Him?

Is Kofi Annan capable of making a decisive statement? Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's denial of the Holocaust is absurd and should not to be given the dignity of a reasoned opinion, yet Annan responded with this wimpy statement:

"I think the tragedy of the Holocaust is an undeniable historical fact, and we should really accept that fact and teach people what happened in World War II and ensure it is never repeated," Annan said.

As happens often these days, I find myself asking, "What would Reagan do?" I would not presume to make myself Reagan's posthumous speechwriter, but I believe he would have unequivocally denounced Ahmadinejad's ridiculous claim with something like the following:

"The Iranian president's statement is either utterly ignorant or utterly evil, concocted in an effort to justify the destruction of a nation. The United States does not condone blind hatred of Israel whether by Hitler's Nazis or anti-Semites of any age. The Iranian president makes no apologies for his anti-Semitism. Indeed, Mr. Ahmanedijad's stated campaign toward 'A World Without Zionism' is a brazen threat to our closest ally and friend in the Middle East. We will not shrink in our determination to defend the Jewish nation's existence and right to her historic homeland."

Period. Don't even entertain Ahmanedijad's deluded version of history. The diabolical lunatic Iranian leader is proceeding with his conference attempting to debunk the Holocaust. I would love to see that party crashed by some of these guys:



(See more at Cox and Forkum)

Of course, Iran's renowned freedom of speech will ensure that a balanced perspective will be presented, as in the Ku Klux Klan's seminar on racism, Madelyn O'Hair's Bible study series, and who could forget Planned Parenthood's symposium on the humanity of the unborn child? Ahmadinejad modestly denies his own role in history as one of the captors in the Iranian hostage crisis in 1979, so he is clearly an authority on historical denial.

What the world needs most now is a leader who will call a spade a spade, and stare down those who insist on making themselves our enemies. Reagan had the courage to identify the "focus of evil in the modern world." I pray that President Bush will have the determination of Reagan, if not the eloquence, to stand firm in challenging Iran.

"A leader, once convinced a particular course of action is the right one, must have the determination to stick with it and be undaunted when the going gets rough" - Ronald Reagan